Some more writing.

The Experiment
Two men decided to conduct an experiment entitled “Do plants have feelings?”
They each bought a plant and for a period of one week they each conducted the following experiment. The first man (Emmanuel) was to be particularly nasty to his plant. The second man (Hooch) was to be particularly nice (to his plant). The aim was to determine whether plants do in fact have feelings. Here is what happened.

Emmanuel’s diary:
Day 1
“You are not a very nice plant at all. All of the other plants think that you are a ferret with leaves.”
Day 2
“You are inferior, plant.”
Day 3
“Get out of here. Why do you just sit there, foolish plant.”
Day 4
Today Emmanuel pointed a pistol at the plant for a period of two hours. He watered the plant but added sugar-free cordial to the water.
Day 5
Today Emmanuel held up his rude finger to the plant and randomly jeered it.
Day 6
“Did you take my wallet, plant? I can no longer trust you. You are untrustworthy and clearly a member of the criminal class.”
Day 7
Today Emmanuel pretended to punch the plant on more than one occasion. He would frequently sneak up on it and shout “Boo”.

Results: Plant shows signs of fatigue.

Hooch’s diary:
Day 1
“You are a better than average, plant. Well done.”
Day 2
Today Hooch gives the plant a Playstation 3 game. Unfortunately, the plant does not own a Playstation 3, but it is a nice gesture.
Day 3
“Nice stamen.”
Day 4
“Plant, you are looking very nice day. Does anyone ever tell you that? I probably do not tell you enough.”
Day 5
Today Hooch dresses up real nice, buys a box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers. Upon presenting these gifts, Hooch realises with much horror that the bunch of flowers are possibly relatives of the plant, but it is too late. The damage has been done.
Day 6
Today Hooch pats the plant.
Day 7
Today Hooch read the plant “The Magic Faraway Tree”. Twice.

Results: Plant shows signs of fatigue.

Conclusions: Inconclusive data.